Ms. Universe...

I would like to send a special shout-out to Ms. Universe. And, no I don't mean Miss Universe (a.k.a. the hot pageant chick I never was (eeew, Donald) but cranky, old Ms. Universe who probably insists on using "Ms." because "Miss" is just too diminutive and fussy for her and Ms. has a period which she doesn't want anyone to ever forget she has every month. Much like the Mother Nature character in the Tampax campaign. Lerv her.

But she must be going through menopause or something the way she's gotten all psycho on my life's destiny. The roller coaster I have been on in just the last two months has been unreal. I went from dreams of stuffing my family in an oven during the holiday "snurricanes" to a ridiculous two week diversion from everyday life shooting a commercial at a luxury resort in Florida - missing two entire snow "events" (as they are now called)...and getting paid to do so.

This morning I awoke after a weekend of being play-date-central in an utter stupor - exhausted to the point of depression - and was seriously not able to actually awaken until I belted my way through a song I was preparing for today's callback. I literally belted myself awake. It was embarrassing. But the callback went well and, best of all, as I was scouting out places to park my car, some heavenly saint of a guy actually hailed me to stop so he could offer me his parking space. Unreal.

So, in between and the snow, the resort and today I've broken down in tears in the middle of Home Depot (thanks to some devastating news) only to return home and score a meeting with a high-level producer regarding the show I wrote, had a root canal, a billion auditions, read a million FaceBook posts about everyone else's shiny new job, had a thousand callbacks, had a director not remember what I did in his show (blow me), lost 15 lbs., received an oil bill over $800 and, finally, cashed a ginormous cheque for acting services rendered for aforementioned commercial shoot.

So, I'm thinking Ms. Universe may need some hormone replacement therapy because she just can't seem to decide whether she wants my life to be a living hell or heaven on earth. What's funny, is it's all starting to feel the same - all the highs & all the lows - which is very Buddhist of me. I like that - I think I'll slap that religious monicker on my FaceBook profile which will surely make me universally envied and adored. Take that, Ms. Universe...

Good plan.